not too long i sat with her and blogged about it and now she's gone. she's been gone for some time now.
i could've visited her. the way i made myself visit my grandfather today. it was friday night and i was ready to go out and instead, i went to mission. to my old house. i knew he'd be out there. sitting on the patio. it felt good to see him. i call him "capitan" and he does the same to me. what a grip. in his eighties. i wish i would've gotten his size and strength. instead, i'm small and frail.
it's good to see him. he smiles big when he sees me and breaks up everytime right before i leave.
i so wish i would have mustered up the courage (for lack of a better term) to go see sister ana when she was ill. she left me and many others who loved her, way too fast. she gave so much to all of us.
it took stalina to tell me. many days, perhaps weeks, later. we both laid there, staring up at the ceiling.
